Saturday, July 19, 2014

My Open Thoughts

Met up with the gang and generally, many were planning about houses, marriage, the usuals that this age would go through.

On the way home, I thought about what I personally went through for the past 3 years.
Yes, it has been 3 years since the faithful night.

It took me rather long to come out of the dark lights.
And now, I do believe things happen for a reason.

My open thoughts to you.
Really, I am disappointed in you. Like totally.
After we broke off, and in the midst of settling the lawyers, you were angry with me. Which I have absolutely no idea why cause I thought I was supposed to be mad at you first. But it's okay, I forgive you.
You think you were not at fault, but come on, things wouldn't have come to such stage if you hadn't done anything guilty. It all starts with just a small matter. But, you really think it is a small matter.
Next, you became all so cold and believe that I should be the one paying your lawyer's cost, and the full COV. Fine, i'll do it since you were so adamant.
Throughout the proceedings, because it took a whole 2 years to settle, you kept asking for money. And when we finally settled it this year, boom! you got married. Wow. No wonder you have been asking back money. And marriage within 1 year of dating is an "in" thing eh...
Really, I could have pay you only half of the money since you were partly responsible for this failed relationship.
But, me being me, can't do it cause I know it's your dad's hard earned money.
But what's disappointing is really, you bear NO consequences of what you did.
And to my surprise, you even blocked/ deleted me in your facebook. Wow. You are supposed to be a matured adult, considering you are married already, and you did this? You made me laugh.
All my ex-relationship, how bad it has gotten, they have never done such a childish thing. Seriously, your actions don't make you an adult.
But it's okay, I'll forgive you anyway.

Because of you, I grew stronger spiritually, and learnt even more about financial independence.
And maybe I should thank you. Because, I found someone matured, who taught me to be patient, calm, and to be rational, and most importantly, to be happy everyday.
Yes, there may be anger moments esp. during work, but he believes work is just work. You cannot control when people gives you shit, but you can control not to be affected by them.
I'm a person who gets bothered to what people think, but now, I think I've improved a lot.
My life shouldn't be controlled by other people. And more importantly, it should be only the closest to you that affects you. *Reminder to myself*

I may not believe in "forever love" anymore, but I believe in making an effort to be happy living everyday with the ones you love. And that is enough, cause you never know when's your last good day. 
Falling in love is easy, but maintaining the love in a relationship requires effort and discipline. Love is the attitude that looks out for each other interests, and chooses an appropriate way to express such behaviour. And, it is not easy.

There may be moments in your life that puts you down, but pull your thoughts together and know that you can come out stronger. Crying won't be the matter go away. So, smile and fight on.  

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